Dating After Weight Loss Surgery

Wednesday, 04 November 2009 10:04

Dating after weight loss surgery can be a difficult, stressful, and awkward process. However, taking the time to be as prepared as possible when re-entering the dating world after large amounts of weight loss can make it an easier process. The most important thing to remember while dating as a post-op weight loss surgery patient is to have self-confidence and to be happy in your own skin, your progress, and future goals. In order to achieve this, it may be beneficial to visit a therapist or a group therapy session on a regular basis.

How to Meet People

That being said, being out in public with people that share mutual interests with you is a great way to increase self-esteem and confidence, while also possibly meeting a potential mate. Besides bariatric support groups, volunteering for a non-profit organization that supports a cause you care about or at your child's school will is an easy way to meet someone, as you already have something in common and conversation can come more naturally than it would if you were on a blind date.

Practicing 'The Speech' Ahead of Time

When the time does come to tell that 'special someone' about your experience with weight loss surgery, practice beforehand. Write down what you want to say and how you want to say it, and then practice in the mirror or with a friend or family member. A good 'speech' may sound like, "I know that you've noticed why I (don't drink, don't eat sweets, don't eat much). Well, this is because I had weight loss surgery last summer. I've lost 150 pounds since then, but I'm still working towards my goal weight. Because of the procedure, I can't eat as much as most people, and some foods make me sick. I hope you can understand and be supportive."

Deciding When To Tell Your Date

There comes a time in every date or relationship where it is time to tell your date or partner that you've had weight loss surgery. Maybe they've noticed that you don't eat much, have excess skin, or that you never drink. Whether it's you or your date bringing it up, having the conversation and giving your "speech" about your life as a bariatric patient is a crucial step in any relationship post-WLS.

It's important to remember that if the person is the caliber that you deserve, they will be understanding, positive, and not react negatively. Be prepared to answer questions, as they may be inquisitive. Try not to be defensive if they ask questions that may be personal, as they are just trying to understand. Weight loss surgery isn't a popular concept to most people, and they may not know much about it. Explaining the surgery or directing them to a website or book with more information may be helpful.

Promiscuity After Weight Loss Surgery

For many, it may be hard to remain faithful to one partner after bariatric surgery. After losing large amounts of weight, many people may not be used to all the attention from potential mates and will try to accommodate dates and time with all of them. As a result, they may become promiscuous, which has risks in and of itself, including STDs, unexpected pregnancy, and more emotional turmoil during break-ups. Remember to use protection, know your partner, and to monogamy, dating one person at a time.